If we remember nothing else as we end our day may we know that Jesus loves us, died for us to save us and rose again. May we know that if we acknowledge our need for a Savior He will save us. May we remember that our value is not based on our location or how we are conceived or our genetic diagnosis or sickness whether in utero or not. Our value is not based on the world’s criteria. As we have seen the eugenic society desire to redefine value, and our laws in the same manner redefine our value, we have seen that the world selects groups to kill off when they choose to redefine life and our value and where life comes from and when life starts. For example, the Holocaust, slavery and now abortion are examples of society as a whole devaluing people’s value. We must see that we are all made in the Image of God. Science shows that we are a human at the moment of fertilization. It is the OBGYN founding organization field which is founded on pro abortion views, and our laws that have redefined who God has already defined as living, and beautiful persons at fertilization, no matter how conceived or if sick in utero or if sick outside the womb.
In our nation and around the world, people with disabilities are told two messages. These messages are extremely conflicting.
One: The message our world sends is people with disabilities are a nuisance and we consider someone less valuable because they “would cost a lot to care for” in medicine. Also, we can see how there is a link to prenatal testing and abortion link. We all have value and society is eugenic. They consider people who have disabilities ‘not worthy of fighting for or’ ‘having no quality of life’ or as if being blind, deaf and have mental struggles as some nurses and MDs use as another excuse to not fight for life. I thought all were supposed to support people who are blind, deaf, have Trisomy 13 and 18 and other poor prenatal diagnoses to take their life because many consider them as a society an “inconvenience.’ Society does not realize how much of a eugenic foundation medicine has.
Two: The other view is seeing how we can celebrate people who have disabilities to show their ability. We can show that they are valuable. That their value is not based on what they can or cannot do or what they look like or what grade they do or don’t get but that we have value. Think of the special Olympics or hearing about stories where people with “disabilities” are shown their worth. Yet still society has a discrepancy. Society only considers them valuable if society wants to think they have value yet this is the concern as society believes that they have the right to place value judgments on people based on “their standards.”
I feel also that society believes that everyone has disabilities. They believe that if you are hyper in class you must have a disability in need of meds and in reality they are just children. It is so heartbreaking that society desires to medicate their children and that it is just natural to take the lives of our children in utero if they are sick or conceived in a particular manner such as incest or rape. Along with the other children who are conceived through IVF but are considered “extra” and are donated to science or taken through other manners of death who are simply considered “extra embryos” instead of all shown our intrinsic value.
What is missing is the fact that society does not believe in intrinsic value. They believe that we have value if we have met a certain criteria. Even in desiring to see people with disabilities have the opportunities, society does not care to celebrate the child who can’t accomplish going to the special Olympics as society only celebrates people if they can meet societies criteria. We are a godless nation therefore we as Christians must see that every soul has value because we are all made in God’s image. Our value is not based on what society claims.
In this Christmas season, my heart hurts because God’s desire is to see all children valued, all elderly and in our society and around the world there is a lack of love for those who are considered “an inconvenience” because they have come at a “wrong time” or they are sick or considered to “bring no quality of life”. We must understand that those who are older are to bring wisdom and those younger are to bring bundles of new blessings. We have forgotten the innocent….. Jesus came to show all, the broken and dehumanized and the pharisee and arrogant, that we all have value. We are not worthy of spiritual saving yet we are worthy of physical saving. I think upon three doctors devaluing my life because of my location and because I was sick and thinking I did not deserve for God to die on the cross for my sins, but I did deserve to be rescued from physicians devaluing my life because they did not believe that my value was intrinsic.
Our society desires to live in a euphoric spiritual and virtual and unrealistic box, a box that consistently grows of “their views that make us valuable.”
Our society is constantly saying you must eat a particular way and particular foods, you must look a certain way, you must get a 4.0 and be on the cheer-leading squad and you must play on the football team and you must play any instrument. The pressure on our society and young teens is unbearable. Society tells young girls they must date, have sex and not get pregnant. Our society has replaced the intimate value of sex inside of marriage and believing that it is a gift to give to someone outside of the covenant bond of marriage yet the child is not considered a blessing.
We are worth fighting for not that we may live but because we are alive.
American’s Got Talent show featured Michael Ketterer who was one of the people who auditioned at the show and he shared his story in which has such candor and is inspirational! This story is about he and his wife’s daughter and adoption journey which was shared on the show.
He and his wife Ivy had a daughter who was not well either before or after birth. Michael said, “The doctor said the woman I loved the most in life and my new daughter, they probably wouldn’t make it through the night … I spent the whole night praying, and miraculously my daughter pulled through,” said Ketterer. “My wife pulled through, but the doctors told us if we got pregnant, this would happen again.” Their daughter had dreams for 3 years. The husband shares that he and his family are not huge believers in people’s dreams meaning something, yet she kept having dreams about ha 3 brothers that she would have. Her family chose to then adopt. Their first call was for 3 boys who needed to be adopted! Themanpost site states, “He soon told the amazing tale of how he almost lost his wife and daughter, with ‘signs’ later leading them to adopting five sons — three rescued from a squalid meth lab, one who was homeless, and another with cerebral palsy.”
We all have intrinsic value.
My name is Rose and I have 2 young kids, Alynna Marie is 6 years old, and Lyle Christian is 4 years old. And there is another one on the way, as I am on my 3rd trimester. 🙂 I did prenatal genetic testing on my first born and opted not anymore for my second child and to the current pregnancy. AsI look back with my first pregnancy, I was overwhelmed with the check ups and testings and all. Even though I work in the medical field, a Medical Technologist by profession, still everything was just too much for a would-be first-time mom. Especially that it took 4 years for me and my husband to finally hear the news that I am conceiving. We were just too excited. We went diligently with my OB schedule, and assumed everything is routine to make sure our baby is on track and doing well. So the first time I heard about the genetic testing, I simply said yes.
With my second child, I seemed to have more focus to details. When the time came that the doctor’s clinic asked me f I wanted to have the genetic testing done, I asked for what purpose and listened intently. I was told it will just help me to plan on how to best care for the baby if it is high risk of certain genetic disorders or not. I took home the flier for further reading. At home I pondered, if something came up unusual, would it really help me and the baby? All I care is just to focus on is taking care of myself so the baby will be at his/her healthiest potential. The rest is God’s work. If the test turns out that things are “normal”, life continues. But if it reveals something else, how will I move forward? Regardless of the result, I would still keep the baby…it is my child and a gift from God most of all. I decided to say no to the genetic testing on my follow up visit. In my mind I have it resolved that I will deal with it when the time comes (at birth) and will love the child as it is. Me and my husband as parents are stewards of the lives of our children and we will do everything we can to protect and take care of it. What awaits at childbirth, we don’t know… and we trust that God’s grace and mercy will suffice us and the new baby. And so our second child was born, other than being a vulnerable preemie at 34 weeks old and having to stay at the NICU for a week or so, he managed just fine.
As I was writing this article and did some online reading about genetic testing, I was actually appauld that the parents can really decide to end the pregnancy or that even doctors themselves will recommend to parents to terminate the pregnancy.
As one article says ” It is your choice whether to have prenatal testing. Your personal beliefs and values are important factors in the decision about prenatal testing. There is no right or wrong answer.”
I was reminded of this Bible Verse…Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Rose’s story allows for many to question what truly prental testing accomplishes. We must ask the question, what is truly the purpose of prenatal testing? Is it truly to allow parents to know how to help their children or as Rose wondered is there another purpose to this test that’s underlying?
From the blog, What is the purpose of prental testing?, that I wote a while back, “Its real foundation was grounded in eugenics. There were many players in the eugenics movement. The blog by Meehan’s Report shares of the eugenic foundation of prenatal testing. The term “eugenics” was coined by Francis Galton and in Greek means “well-born.” (Galton, 1883) Eugenics is a way (so cleverly disguised) to discriminate against those “deemed” unfit and unworthy by those that support this philosophy and goal of eugenics.”
More from the blog, What is the purpose of prental testing?, I share detailed information from Meehan’s Report, “‘Frederick Osborn was the mastermind of the American Eugenic movement. His goal was to take the lives of children who were sick or disabled or a certain race and exterminate these people. Osborn stated, “The term medical genetics has taken the place of the old term negative eugenics… The older term means efforts to prevent births among people deemed to be inferior, especially those with inherited disabilities.” Osborn sickeningly said, “The public should insist that doctors and public health authorities get to work at reducing the number of defectives.”(Osborn, 1941) People made in God’s very image, he is calling the abhorrent term “defective.” These eugenists use semantics to attempt to influence and bias those they are trying to convince of the merit of their philosophy. These so called “defectives” were children that are sick. Osborn and people like him took on the eugenic movement under new names and groups to uproot medicine and cause there to be genetic testing in medicine to eliminate the children who are considered and deemed to have no value.”
If you are considering abortion because your child has a sickness that is told to be “incompatible with life” I would read this encouraging journey!
Incompatible with Life” Is NOT A Diagnosis, It’s A Death Sentence.
septiembre 17, 2015
Incompatible with Life Is NOT A Diagnosis, It’s A Death Sentence for the unborn disabled child.. When Angela was diagnosed with anencephaly at 16 weeks into my pregnancy, doctor told me “your baby is incompatible with life after delivery.” I was in shock I couldn’t move, I had no words and with a lump in my throat I asked: “How long do you think?” They told me from minutes to hours after birth. Angela got her death sentence at that moment. I started grieving my baby; I couldn’t understand what “incompatible with life” means at that moment of her diagnosis.
I was feeling her moving and kicking I knew she was alive to me. They said that those were only muscle reflex, and that she was only alive because she was attached to me but as soon as I delivered her, she would die. At that moment I knew that “incompatible with life” meant no hope, no baby, no interventions, no care or treatment. She got her death sentence.
Can you imagine what we parents have fell when the medical field say that our babies are not compatible with life? This is an excruciating pain that cannot be removed with any medicine, because this pain is within the depths of your heart and soul. Our precious baby that we prayed for now has a date, a date for its death.
Sometimes I am very disappointed with doctors because as soon as they know our babies have a life-limited condition they encouraged mothers to terminate. We parents look to healthcare professionals, as the people with all the information and knowledge, but with my experience with Angela ALL they know about anencephaly is what is in the books. My baby girl is labeled but the label is not who she is, she is my daughter, a friend, a sister, she is a human being. She is compatible with life and compatible with love. Abortion is incompatible with life. Our babies deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Anencephaly, for example, is a condition in which the majority of a child’s brain is absent, and death usually occurs within hours of birth. However, there are case reports of anencephalic infants with a healthy brain stem surviving for much longer. There are many forms of anencephaly, some are more severe than others, and Angela proves it.
She was not open from the eyebrow to the back as doctors told me many times. When babies have a label of “incompatible with life” doctors hesitate to do much more to help them. This is what happened with my daughter, they stated that she was not going to live, that’s why when she was born, “no sophisticated intervention was needed”, “why prolong the inevitable?” one doctor said..
Everything I asked for her, they said she didn’t needed. Why? That is because they were expecting her to die any minute. “No sophisticated intervention is appropriate for anencephalic babies” one doctor said. They gave me my baby to snuggle and to make her comfortable to her death. They made me feel I was a bad mother, they saw me with pity, and some made me feel uncomfortable. All I wanted and did was to love my child, I didn’t see anencephaly I saw my beautiful daughter, so perfectly made by God.
They covered her head, she was kept skin to skin most of the time, I had many visitors in my room, she was and IS very loved by family, friends and strangers and even those who questioned us “why are you carrying a dying baby” and told us that it was “better to end her life early and try again” thank us now that we didn’t choose to end the life of our daughter. She was not a toy or garbage, her life was and is valuable.
Even before my baby was born, she received a diagnosis — one that deemed her “incompatible with life.” In the eyes of the medical world, Angela was “incompatible with life.” We didn’t care what the culture of death told us, we embraced life, she was very alive inside me and it was not up to us or doctors to end her precious life. It was in God’s hands! We chose to make the most of our pregnancy, we knew we only had 5 more months to enjoy her, and as her parents we chose to live them to the fullest, because there was life, and if there was life there was also hope.
We did not know what would happen after she was born, but we knew she was more than the diagnosis; her diagnosis didn’t define her as human being. Her diagnosis is not her identity. She has proven she is compatible — compatible with learning, growing and developing in her own pace. She is capable to feel the love we give her, and that’s all she needs. She is compatible. Even when her diagnosis predicts that she will be incompatible, she has proven the definitions wrong.
It’s true that sometimes a condition is limiting, and a person’s life may not be the same as someone else’s life, but it doesn’t mean they are incompatible. Her life is not less worth because she is disabled or dependent to us?. She was indeed “incompatible with life” but yet she is not only living by thriving 17 MONTH after.
Angela is 17 MONTHS and TWO WEEKS OLD NOW!!!!!
We are very thankful to God for this precious gift, she is a gift not a burden, every child is a gift from the Lord and every gift from the Lord received with thankfulness does not come to hinder life but to enrich it. LIFE and LOVE are the most precious gift. Angela is teaching us to love unconditionally, our love for her has no limits, we love her so much, she is teaching us to sacrifice for love, to give yourself to take care of a loved one, loving them and taking care of them until their natural and dignified death. If the unborn child has a life-limiting condition what corresponds as a society is to support the parents and give the baby the same treatment we give to the elderly, the sick or anyone with a terminal illness.
Angela has brought so much joy to our family. It’s like having a baby that never grows up so while other people have their children and experience that “baby stage” for a short while we have it all the time. The joy we feel when she coos and smiles and response with noises when we call her name, when she lifts her hands or kicks her legs, these are huge milestone for her. She proves to us the value of patience and perseverance and has indeed taught us how to love. She taught us to love in moment of suffering, peace and joy in moments of struggles. She taught us to not take life for granted.
Caring for a severely disabled member of the family is, living life on a different level. But it is a level that we as a society must be prepared to support and facilitate so that the people involved can achieve their full potential – regardless of how far that potential can reach. We all learn differently!
There will always be the cases where severely disabled babies won’t survive. What should our response be then? Is it better to allow abortions if the medical experts agree that there is nothing anyone can do?
Or is better to let them live just even for a short time, and give them the loved, the cared, the dignity and respect they deserve as a human being. The sick, the defenseless, the voiceless, the unborn need our help, our voice, our protection. The unborn children are valuable, loved, we all have the right to LIFE and we should denied it to unborn disabled child.
Angela has lived longer than expected, we are very thankful for that, God is laughing in the face of medicine, Angela proves that these babies can live if they are given a chance of life. I encourage you all to defend life, life is hope, life is love. Miracles do happen everyday but remember that whatever happens God will give you the grace, the strength to face everything ahead.
Don’t give up your baby, even if you get a minute, an hour, day, or you don’t know how long, is worth living. Is worth to feel unconditional love. You won’t regret giving a chance of life to your precious child, your child is not a choice, a diagnosis does not define who she/he is, it’s your BABY.
No one knows how long Angela’s life will last, but that time she will be immensely loved and happy. Is not that what we all seek?
ANENECEPHALY SUPPORT PAGE:
Follow Angela in FB Our Baby Angela and Our Journey With Anencephaly
Ways to Get Involved In Ending Abortion-
Susan B Anthony activities and events, campaign for prolife candidates, VOTE prolife if you can vote, prolife lobbying groups, standing outside the Supreme Court in support of prolife decisions, calling your legislators to ask them to vote prolife and implement prolife laws.
Legal (this more applies to college students):
Work with legal advocacy groups such as Thomas Moore and Alliance Defending Freedom
Get trained (sidewalk counselors for life is great!), sidewalk counsel during 40DFL and throughout the year
In your daily life:
Post on social media, tell your friends, wear a prolife t-shirt, have conversations with people, etc. You can ALWAYS be prolife.
40 Days for Life https://40daysforlife.com/ The campaign starts today.:) What does one do when being involved with the organization 40 Days for Life? We stand outside of an abortion clinic, holding kind signs that are telling women there is hope (we have had a sign making party before), and we pray. Our presence is used to save babies lives! When women see us outside they see that there is hope and they see Jesus’ hope and many times women choose life just by us being outside.:) God wants women in crisis to know that they deserve better than abortion and that there is hope.
You can start a Students for Life of America group at Living Science or at your college!:) https://studentsforlife.org/high-school/
How to do it? Watch this video: https://studentsforlife.org/high-school/start-a-pro-life-group-on-your-campus/
What is a pregnancy resource center? It is a center where women who are maybe contemplating abortion come to get free services. We are there to pour hope into them and to be encouraging them to choose life. If a woman is choosing life she can be involved in a program called Earn While You Learn alongside other resources for them. This is done in most PRCs and if they do not do this one, there are so many other resources alongside EWYL. A woman doing EWYL can come into the center and watch videos on parenting etc and they can have money put on a center’s credit card that is their own that they can spend at the high end thrift store connected.
Serve at a Pregnancy Resource Center:
-Have an internship at a pregnancy center
-Make blankets for crisis centers for the moms as baby gifts
-Serve at a thrift store connected to pregnancy resource center & fold clothes
-Train to be an advocate in training/counselor at one of the pregnancy resource centers (encourage women to choose life for their babies)
Georgia Right to Life- http://www.grtl.org/ Their goal is to educate on personhood and so recognizing the preborn to the elderly as persons. Their goal is to educate on the value of all life and, to change politics.
You can go to their banquets. This past month they had the REACH Benefit Dinner at the elegant Cobb Galleria Centre on September 13 from 7:00pm – 9:00pm. This year’s keynote speaker they had Sol Pitchon, MA, CEO of the Tampa Bay pro-life ministry, New Life Solutions.
You can get involved with a county chapter in your county at GRTL. The county chapter leaders are volunteers at GRTL that lead events in their county/spreading the word and gathering people in their county to be involved in pro-life events to end abortion. Depending on what county you are in, I could connect you with the leaders.
County Chapter Events: Some of the events that are done in a chapter county are:
Organize educational events
Hold special events like praying outside of abortion clinics and singing Christmas carols outside of abortion clinics near Christmas
Chapters have an education seminar, Pillars of Personhood, on a Saturday all day event. This is an apologetics course/bioethics course. Then after the seminar usually a couple of days after you are able to have the opportunity to go on a college campus and engage with the college students walking with a thought provoking personhood display. The display has precious photos of people who are considered “hard cases”etc. This display draws people to talk to ask questions and see a different perspective if they aren’t pro-life and if they are getting them involved.
Catherine Davis Luncheons are held the third Thursday of every month at Maggianos as pro-lifers gather to get a free lunch and hear a speaker talk about a pro-life topic. This could look like talking to someone about the foster care system and the need for foster parents etc. It is not a political event.
I have been listening to this song called “Never Give Up” by Sia. It is about young boys in India who are running away from guards who are trying to catch these children who have nothing who are stealing goods. The premise of the song is to keep going despite adversity. I had thought about how India is considered “overpopulated” often times by extremists in society, and I wanted to talk about this topic today.:)
“Overpopulation” is a term used often by extremists in society about India.
I’ve heard the belief in some arenas of our society and globally saying that there is overpopulation. I don’t know why this concept has hit me so hard today, but I wanted to speak on it. I feel that society uses this term in stating that there are not enough resources for most people in third world nations who most struggle.
There are three definitions that I wanted to share with you about “overpopulation.”
Renewable Resources Coalition Group says, “Poverty is believed to be the leading cause of overpopulation. A lack of educational resources, coupled with high death rates leading to higher birth rates, result in impoverished areas seeing large booms in population.”https://www.renewableresourcescoalition.org/overpopulation-causes-effects-solutions/
“Overpopulation occurs when the population of the world reaches an undesirable number that exceeds its carrying capacity.” A. every person has value and Jesus made the earth large enough to carry more people on earth than are even alive today with my point being there are never too many people that will ever cause the earth to have an issue with capacity. Our earth was designed to hold trillions of people. There are many reasons for this topic to come up according to many sites. The causes for “overpopulation” are: child labor, poor contraception use, poverty, immigration, reduced mortality rate, and fertility treatments. https://www.renewableresourcescoalition.org/overpopulation-causes-effects-solutions/
Child Labor: The causes of child labor. Poverty, lack of education (there are no places for them to get an education), parental lack of education leads to children’s lack of education, disability, addiction and disease, a lack of adherence to the law, factory owners, companies and shopkeepers allow children to work at their facility working them the same amount as adults but paying them half the amount they work.
These are just a few causes of child labor. It all boils down to a corrupt government that strips people’s basic rights away from them.
Another cause is poor use of contraception: I heard someone say something to the effect of “If we give them contraception they are still left with a lack of education and food and water.” I believe that approaching the issues and trying to solve the lack of resources through trying to stop the population is still leaving a gap. If we do indeed allow people to not be able to have more children, like people in India, this act will still leave them with a government that is broken, and an education system that favors boys over girls, and a crisis situation of water and food supplies. Less people does not mean that there are more opportunities for those around, it merely means what it states, less people. Contraception has one purpose which is to reduce the number of children a woman bares, it doesn’t help them with their education or help stop sexually transmitted diseases and isn’t used as a tool to talk about abstinence. Women should be taught that their bodies are to be valued by the man they marry not be used for harm in prostitution. Contraception won’t stop precious women from doing prostitution because they feel they do not have another option or way to get help. The women need jobs. They need to be given jobs and an education. Contraception seems like it ‘fixes life problems’ but in fact it just leaves women still without the same opportunities they had before they didn’t have contraception.
Poverty: It is the overarching issue, along with the corrupt government first and foremost, that causes the “issue” of “overpopulation.” But it is not the amount of people itself that cause poverty, it is the corrupt government. India does NOT need someone controlling their population, they need someone providing them with helpful resources. Poverty contributes to the lack of basic essentials. In India thousands if not millions of people do not have water, food and an education AND they live in harsh conditions.
Immigration: What are the causes of immigration? BBC states,”People migrate for many different reasons. These reasons can be classified as economic, social, political or environmental: … political migration – moving to escape political persecution or war. environmental causes of migration include natural disasters such as flooding.” http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/geography/migration/migration_trends_rev2.shtml
Fertility Treatment: This story says it all. Fertility Awareness in the Developing World
Education and Contraception: In foreign countries the ticket out of poverty is education. https://en.unesco.org/gem-report/sites/gem-report/files/girls-factsheet-en.pdf I feel that we can’t empower women by giving them contraception because the ability to not bare children will still leave them in the same financial state and struggles that they had before. Contraception won’t stop precious women from doing prostitution because they feel they do not have any other out. Also, it is important to talk about risks to sex outside of marriage, but I feel that contraception is not the education needed. Kids should be taught about the beautiful gift of life that comes through sex. Also, contraception is no way to stop child brides etc.
Education is the way out of poverty. Our nation emphasizes all the time the need to be educated AND WE CAN HELP OTHER NATIONS by supporting their local schools to help them.
The concept of “overpopulation” is based off of eugenics. This is great to try to help humanity, but I think that in saying there are too many humans, population control groups believe, it defeats the heart that should come with helping them which is seeing their intrinsic worth in never considering that there are “too many.” This mindset of believing there are “too many people” also intertwines with the mindset that the people who are in hard situations are better off not even being alive.
From 6 Dreadful Overpopulation Facts and Statistics By Crystal Lombardo the site states, “The most recent reports also show that about 783 million people, which are about 10% of the world population, are lacking access to quality drinking water. In the US, there are more than 1.43 million unplanned births happening every year.” I personally found the statement talking about the amount of people and the lack of water a poor reason to consider that we have population issues. We do not have issues with the amount of people, we have issues with resources and allowing humans to not be made.
I found it odd that the human rights groups seem to embrace such a statement above.
All in all the heart of “population control” groups are to reduce the amount of people in third world countries and this act won’t stop child labor, help people have an education, help with “fertility treatments”, basic essential needs met, mortality rates etc.
In March of 2013, my husband Chris and I were elated to discover that we were expecting again after our first pregnancy (twins) ended in a miscarriage several months prior. We were excited to make it past the mark of the miscarriage of the twins and were even more excited to become parents! I was enjoying my baby and life as best I could with morning sickness! On the day of the mid pregnancy anatomy scan, we were beside ourselves with anticipation, we couldn’t wait to find out if I was carrying a girl or a boy! Chris held my hand as we both eagerly watched the screen! Our baby had grown a lot since 8 weeks! “You’re having a girl.” The technician stated as she performed the sonogram. We were so happy! “I’m gonna have to wear a pink tie!” My husband exclaimed! We laughed and were excited to find out more about our little one. As the technician continued, her facial expressions eluded that something was wrong. She stated that several abnormalities were present and we would need to see specialists the next day. On the way home, we were heartbroken, scared, worried…what did this mean for us? For our little girl? We sat on the couch and just held each other. Family and friends were anxiously awaiting a video announcement to discover the gender. We no longer wanted to do it. We had more important news to share, but we didn’t know what. Unsure of what to do or say, we decided to go on with the reveal and to tell everyone the news once we knew more. Chris put on his pink tie. We put on smiles. We told our world that we were having a little girl and then we cried.
The next morning we walked into the specialists office, it was intimidating, professional, and no place I wanted to be. I didn’t realize that day how often I would have to frequent that place. The technology was more professional and my heart skipped a beat when I looked up on the screen and saw our little girl whom we had named Evalee Grace Hewett. There she was! The ultrasound lasted a very long time, several doctors were present and everyone looked so serious and concerned…these weren’t the dispositions people were supposed to have around babies being born, it was supposed to be joyful and happy! As I lay in the cold dark room we heard the doctors tell us what all was wrong. We were told that Evalee had a rare condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome meaning the left side of her heart was severely underdeveloped. They also believed she had Dandy Walker syndrome which is a malformation of the brain, she had abnormal kidney size with poor function, as well as a few other minor abnormalities. They said that Evalee would be fine in the womb, but once she was born her chance of survival was slim. They told us she would probably live for up to 2 weeks. I don’t think we said a word, it just didn’t seem like this was a real life event that people actually had to go through. We listened to it all and tried to process it. The specialists made us appointments in Atlanta with doctors who perform a series of surgeries for HPLH syndrome post delivery. We were there for hours. We discovered that the surgeries were very risky and with all that Evalee had going on they gave her less than a 10% chance of survival. We walked away hopeless. “Termination” was offered on one of our many visits to the specialists, but we declined. This was my baby, this was her life and I was not going to take it from her. I knew that however short it was, God had a purpose for her life. Through much prayer, we knew Evalee was not going to make it. The next 15 weeks were agonizing. I wanted to run away from it all, but I couldn’t. I knew I had to deal with it. It was my lot. Like all expecting mothers I couldn’t wait for the day I would meet my baby but I knew once I did, she was going to die. So I tried to embrace every moment with Evalee that I could. I read the Bible to her, I sang to her, I prayed over her, and I loved her. God was my strength, He kept me going when I thought I couldn’t take another step of my journey.
On November 13, 2013 Evalee Grace decided to make her appearance! I was so proud of myself for delivering a baby and I was relieved that that part was over! I was so excited as I held my baby close, I couldn’t believe I had a real baby! The joy of the moment quickly dissipated when a voice said “She’s not doing good.” They took her away. Everything the doctors hypothesized was true. She was in bad shape, worse than they thought. They discovered another serious problem that wasn’t detected on the ultrasound. That too, would’ve required surgery that day. Everyone knew our desire was to spend time with Evalee, so we were led to a private room in the NICU where we held her in our arms and spent her whole life with her. Her hair was super curly and bright red, her skin was so soft and she had the sweetest little mouth. She lived for 8 hours. It was hard watching her take her final breaths and to experience the pain that followed such a tragic event. There was grief but it was coupled with grace. I carried Evalee grace but Gods grace carried me.
Seven months later we miscarried another baby. We were beginning to think we would never have a baby of our own. People gave their advice, but neither of us were ready to give up hope. I soon discovered that I was expecting again and as soon as I noticed, I knew God was going to see that we brought this baby home! I praised the LORD for it that very day! At our first doctors appointment I was anxious, but God would comfort me and remind me of the victory He had already given! I relaxed and we soon got to hear the heartbeat! Everything was going well. We reached the 20 week mark and headed to the dreaded anatomy scan. The technician placed the probe on my belly and to the shock of all present, there were two babies on the screen! One had evidently been hiding! We were sooo excited! The look on her face was all too familiar. “It’s two girls, but something is wrong with one of them, baby A” she said. I thought I’d been given victory, what was this all about. Why why why did this keep happening to us? We were sent to the specialists that afternoon where more tests were done. It was determined that Baby A, whom we named Elsie Hope, had Turner syndrome which is a chromosomal disorder in which a female has one X chromosome instead of two. 99% of babies with TS die in the womb. Baby B, Emeline Faith Hewett, appeared in good health, but with Elsie’s condition, all of us were at risk. They gave us several scenarios that would likely occur. They suggested “termination of Baby A” and that option was swiftly declined. One of the other scenarios was that I could go into labor prematurely after the demise of Elsie. Which is eventually what happened. Elsie lived longer than anticipated but passed away, unbeknownst to me, at about 24 weeks gestation. I went into labor at only 25 weeks. The doctors tried to stall my labor for a few days but it was unsuccessful. On the evening of February 18, 2015 I gave birth to Elsie who was stillborn and then to Emeline who was the tiniest little thing (1lb 14oz) crying her little heart out! She was immediately whisked away. We were sad that Elsie had passed but our attention quickly turned toward Emeline who was 14 weeks premature and on her way to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. We had to be strong for her.
Emeline stayed there for 87 days. It was a rollercoaster ride! We experienced worry and suspense as she struggled those first few weeks and such joy over having a baby to take care of and love. God’s people fervently prayed on behalf of “Little Miss!” In May of 2015, she got to come home! I’m so glad that we let Elsie live until God said it was her time to go. My body’s response at her demise was labor. Had I agreed to the “termination” plan, I likely would have gone into labor at 20-21 weeks and Emeline probably wouldn’t be here today….but we let God lead. We have the sweetest little girl! Finally Victory!
Genetics testing revealed that there was no reason for our losses. After experiencing the joy of loving a child so very much, we decided we would like another baby to love. Like always, the first 20 weeks were filled with excitement, anticipation, fear and hope. All of these feelings seemed to heightened during the mid-pregnancy anatomy scan. We had an ultrasound technician that we had seen over and over. Surprisingly, things seemed to be going extremely well! The only “odd” thing I noticed was the baby’s head shape was not perfectly round…but not everyone has a perfectly round head! She moved to the heart and relief flooded over me as she typed, in code, the presence of each chamber! We found out that our sweet little babe was a boy! Our first boy (that we knew of!) We already knew his name would be Christian Pate Ezra Hewett II, after his amazing daddy! The scan ended, of course the technician couldn’t tell us anything, so we returned to the waiting room, still a little nervous but feeling good, to wait on my doctor to share the results. They called us back and we waited again, I became more afraid and I told my husband “I don’t think I can do it again if something is wrong.” When the doctor walked in, I could tell by his demeanor that I wasn’t going to like what he had to say. My heart pounded as we shared greetings and small talk. “Just tell me already” must’ve been written all over my face, so he dropped his head and began to tell us what the scan had revealed and then said “We aren’t sure that this condition is compatible with life.” The world stopped. I cried. “I can’t do this again” I thought. The doctor left us alone so we could pull ourselves together before facing the crowded waiting room. It didn’t take me long, I was ready to get out of there so I could cry by myself in private. I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes, I picked up my toddler and opened the door. A familiar nurse looked back at me with the most pitiful eyes, I knew she was hurting for me and that she would be praying for me. I acknowledged her and darted through the busy crowd of people carrying on like everything was just fine-there we’re people signing in, smiling, eating french fries, and chatting about how they wished they were having a girl. On the other side of the door, in the hallway, there was complete quiet and a peace just swept over me. We walked toward the elevator and made our selection, as we waited I looked up at my husband and said “I can feel His grace already.” He’s seen us through before and He can do it again. I thought of Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
The next morning we, once again, had to go to the specialists. They informed us that Ezra had a birth defect called spina bifida and that our baby had the most severe form called myelomeningocele. Myelomeningocele is a neural tube defect that leaves the spinal canal, membranes, and nerves exposed across several vertebrae. The doctor and genetic counselor went on to explain everything that we could possibly face medically. We learned that there were other conditions associated with myelomeningocele including Chiari II Malformation, which Ezra had. This is when the brain becomes abnormally positioned and causes cerebrospinal fluid to become blocked which leads to hydrocephalus in which case he would likely need a shunt to drain the extra fluid. We were told he would likely have mobility issues and could even be paralyzed and/or experience abnormal bladder/bowel function. We inquired about his mental capacity and we were relieved to know that 80% of persons with spina bifida have normal intelligence.
We walked away that day just like we’d done so many times with such mixed emotions. Relieved that our baby would live, sad that he had problems, anxious about the medical aspects for him and for myself. I dreaded another NICU stay. I remember wondering if we were capable of properly caring for such a medically fragile child with such special needs. All we wanted was for our son to have a good and fulfilling life and to love the LORD with all of his heart, soul, and mind! This could still be so.Jesus saw us through before and I knew He would again.
Ezra was born on the night of July 3rd! There were fireworks going off outside of my hospital room, although I didn’t know it! He was 7lbs 4oz and a lot chunkier than Emeline was! I got to hold him and admire him for a second before he had to go to the NICU. He had surgery less than 48 hours later. He only stayed in the NICU for a week!
In the midst of dark ultrasound rooms with medical professionals telling you about how bad all of your (baby’s) problems are every week, life can seem pretty dark. When termination is suggested as an option, it may be tempting, it seems like the only route to escape from all of the terrible unknown. But that is all it is. Unknown. Just because it is unknown doesn’t mean that it will be bad. Sometimes, more often than not, it is not as bad as it sounds, it’s often good. I’m not throwing my doctors under the bus, they were great, but during my innumerable ultrasounds and tests, no one ever told me how sweeeeet Ezra was going to be (and he is the sweetest!) No one ever told me how cute his fat cheeks and legs would be, how beautiful his blonde hair would be, how blue his little eyes would be, how sweet his breath would smell, how I would love his laugh more than music, how my heart nearly melts every time he says “ma ma ma”, or how all of the problems in the world would dissipate when I picked him up for a cuddle! In the doctors office it was all about what all was “wrong” with him and what he wouldn’t be able to do-but out here in the real world it’s “Look what he IS doing!!!” I know that as my baby grows up there will be harder challenges to overcome but I am excited to be the one to help him overcome.
The doctors have been unable to discover a reason for our problems but we have trusted the will of our Savior, knowing that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are best. Whatever path he has for us to journey down, He will carry us. Please don’t take life! Give life! Trust Him.
I wanted to share about one of the youngest cancer survivors, a baby named Annaleise. She received chemo at just 2 weeks old. Please read about this miracle girl!:)
Story and Photo Credited by: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/05/22/mom-blames-self-after-newborn-is-diagnosed-with-cancer.html
As I was scrolling through the Facebook page of the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology, I found an article done by Northwestern University. ACOG posted, “The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists – ACOG National · According to a Northwestern University national survey on Teens, Technology, and Health, 84% of teens have gotten health information online. In addition to recommending teens see a Gynecologist before age 21, ACOG also has an entire patient FAQ section dedicated to questions and health concerns specific to teens.”
I found it quite concerning as I looked at the flier done by ACOG also talking about the reasons why it is important for women to see a GYN before 21. They talked pregnancy “options” when having a child outside of marriage that include abortion, adoption and parenting. The site goes on to mention women’s options (two out of the three are true options) talking about the way to keep their baby safe if they are parenting or talking about the option of adoption. ACOG mentions abortion as the first listed option when going over again the “options” for a pregnant woman. It is so odd because ACOG talks about how to harm and protect the life of a child. They say, ” If you choose to have an abortion, it should be done early in pregnancy when there are fewer risks. If you have a medical condition, pregnancy may pose risks to your health and increase the risk of complications for the baby.” There are two concerns and false information given. 1st abortion is not “safer” when it is done earlier. There are even more emotional effects on women who have abortions earlier particularly women who take RU-486 because they are the ones doing the abortion, their home is the abortion clinic and they often see their dead child. Also abortion is never necessary to “save a woman’s life.”
Also ACOG never mentions the side effects of abortion and their description of one claims the procedure to be “safe” yet they never explain what actually happens to the child and they never give the side effects of what truly happens to women after an abortion.
Sarah Torez wrote this Live Action article which talks about a woman’s experience at an abortion clinic. This blog talks about the effects of a late term abortion on women. In Live Action’s article it states, “Studies show that post-abortive women are 65 percent more likely to suffer from depression. Two studies based on medical records found that post-abortive women were six to seven times more likely to commit suicide. Other studies have linked abortion with post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep disturbances, and substance abuse.” (https://www.liveaction.org/news/blogger-writes-intense-suffering-women-late-term-abortions/)
Here is the description from ACOG, “In an abortion procedure, the embryo or fetus is removed from a woman’s uterus. If you decide to have an abortion, it should be done as early as possible. After 12 weeks, an abortion requires more steps and takes longer to perform.
What are the different types of abortion procedures?
Some abortion procedures are done by surgery. Some are done with medication. The type of abortion you have depends on your choice, your health, and how long you have been pregnant. See the FAQ Induced Abortion for detailed information about each type of abortion procedure.
When can each type of abortion be performed?
The most common type of surgical abortion is called vacuum aspiration. It can be performed up to 14 weeks of pregnancy in a health care provider’s office or clinic.
After 14 weeks of pregnancy, the abortion procedure is called a dilation and evacuation (D&E). A D&E takes longer to perform than a vacuum aspiration and it may require more than one visit. This procedure can be done in a health care provider’s office, clinic, or hospital. You usually can go home within a few hours after the procedure is completed.
In a medical abortion, certain drugs are taken to cause an abortion. For this option, a woman usually must be no more than 9 weeks pregnant.
What are the risks associated with abortion?
In general, abortion is a low-risk procedure. Risks and complications depend on how early the abortion is done and the method that is used. Fewer than 1 in 100 women have complications from an abortion performed before 14 weeks of pregnancy. For later abortions, up to 2 in 100 women have complications. In most cases, the risks from an abortion are less than the risks of giving birth to a baby. Most health care providers agree that having one abortion does not affect later pregnancies or a woman’s future health. However, the longer a woman waits to have an abortion, the more risk it carries for her.
What should I expect after having an abortion?
You usually will have a follow-up visit with your health care provider after the abortion. Be aware that you can get pregnant soon after having an abortion. You should use a birth control method to prevent pregnancy right away.”
Former abortionist explains to Live Action founder Lila Rose the true side effects from abortion. https://www.abortionprocedures.com/questions/